Jessirae was 5, almost 6, the first time I photographed her. While I was just looking for one of the shots from that shoot, I looked through several sessions from that day. It was my very first Meet Me At. "Meet Me At" is the name I gave my mini session days. The idea being that I would say, "Meet Me At Robbins' Island" or "Meet Me At Cashmann Park".
I would have a time limit and then sit there the whole time. 10a-2p? Cool. 9a-5p? Great. Whenever someone would show up, either myself or my ex-husband would go over the contract with them, show them my props, get them ready for the shoot.
And then I would wait, and wait, and wait.....wondering if I should pack up and call it a day or if I should continue to sit there until the end time.
Yes, there were flaws to my system.
(MY GOODNESS. I love this image the MOST. She's SO GORGEOUS!)
Part of me wants to delete all those files. I know many are probably wondering why I still even have them. BECAUSE. I can't let go. I don't want to let go. However, I don't really want to show them to others. They're embarrassing. BUT! I see growth. I learned more. I practiced more. I kept on. And I'm proud of myself. We all start somewhere.
I have Imposter Syndrome really badly. I feel like one of these days everyone is going to find out I'm a fake and a fraud and I'm no good.
But I really don't think that's true. Is every shot a stunner? Nope. But I am pretty positive no one has a whole shoot with hundos.
I finally accepted that Photoshop, Lightroom, and the like are not the enemy. They are helpers. They assist me in telling the story the way I see it in my head.
Would I want little Jessirae to see me quit? Nope! Give up because not everything was 100%? NO WAY! I want everyone to feel proud of themselves to see where they were and were they are now. AND where they're going.